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    small steps are not enough

    Not to dismiss in any way the science behind it or the work of those who compiled it, but my pathology report might as well have been required reading in my high school English Literature class.  I can visualize my teenage self, poring over its language, structure, and form, trying to discern “what it’s really saying,” because I know there…

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    scary stuff

    On November 4th, 2011, I remembered first to post a happy birthday message on my brother’s facebook wall and then made my way to SMIL, ironically pronounced SMILE, for my mammogram.  On the doctor’s handwritten order, I noted “12 0’clock” and “ultrasound.” The other words were indecipherable, but I wasn’t concerned. Initially. I’d had mammograms before and lived to tell…

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    ‘racing’ thoughts

    My post-surgical lap around the hospital ward, was at best, tentative and unsteady, but that was more to do with all the things still attached to me, the urinary catheter and the JP drains, as well as the stunning realization that standing up straight is just not possible three days after a DIEP flap reconstruction. Magically, just two weeks later,…

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    lucky 21: saying no to chemo

    Decision made. At 9:45PM I took my first 20mg of Tamoxifen, having spent the better part of the weekend prowling every corner of the Internet in hopes of finding someone to validate my decision, to tell me unequivocally that having weighed the relative merits of  treatment with or without adjuvant chemotherapy, Tamoxifen would be enough. Enough for me not to…